i have no hope, there's nothing for me anymore. all i ever fucking do is listen to music, rot in bed, and stare at my ceiling contemplating death. i'm useless, that's all i ever am. my parents and family must be dissapointed in me. they all hate me, and i deserve it. i'll never be enough for anybody at all.
today is actually going.. good? i feel calm and at peace right now. i don't know why. i think it's cuz of the music im listening to right now.. music helps me in a way that nothing else could. especially with the album im currently listening to. the song im listening to represents my feelings and my mind.. the lyric "well, im bored of the game. and too tired to rage." resonates with me a lot. i relate to it, i cant describe it. and also, nevermind is a good song.. :)) i love the supermodel album. i love music, theres songs that i can relate to on a much deeper level. music is my escape. music is therapy at this point. it makes me feel safer.